A Drinker's Guide To Malasaña

Blogger has apparently been on the blink and decided to delete this post from yesterday so here it is again.

All my classes have been cancelled over the last two days, so I've had a nice little mid-week holiday to do not a lot of anything. It means my paycheck's going to suffer at the end of the month though. One of the hazards of being a self-employed teacher is that your classes can get cancelled and there's not much you can do about it. On Monday though, someone cancelled at the last minute, which meant I got paid €40 for sitting around at home for two hours. Its meant I've had some good time to sit in the sun, do some bike maintenance, and sit in cafes in Malasaña, as I'm doing now. So this seems like as good a time as any to give you a guide to the many, many bars of Malasaña, in no particular order. (Click the names for a map).

Malabar
An ideal starting point on Plaza Dos de Mayo, slap bang in the middle of Malasana, this circus themed bar has tables on the square, but don't miss out on it's cozy, nicely lit and entertaining interior and perma-friendly staff.

Garaje Sonico
Just across the street is Garaje Sonico, a dark and dingy punk dive bar with a great atmosphere and music policy taking in 60s, 70s and more modern alternative guitar music. There's a little dancefloor in the backroom too and its open late. It's not the cheapest at €3 a bottle but they have a happy hour between 10-11pm where its €7 for 2 Jagerbombs if you like that kinda thing.

La Via Lactea
Less the Milky Way, more UV lighting and skate-punk graffiti. Grab a booth or stand around the massive pool table downstairs, its usually pretty packed but would you have it any other way?

La Lolita
If the answer to that was yes, maybe you'd prefer the more laid back 50's bossa nova vibes of La Lolita (which I'm actually sitting in right now). Wi-fi during the day, buzzing with conversation at night, there's not a lot of seats but they include some comfy armchairs to sink into. A friend of mine refers to it as his 'pulling bar' because it's where he always takes girls on dates, the rascal.

La Catrina
This little Mexican bar plays up to all the stereotypes, covered in Mexican memorabilia, including a huge collection of Mexican wrestler action figures. You probably wouldn't spend the whole night here but it makes a nice little stop off.

Tupperware
I'd heard so much about Tupperware that by the time I went there I was a bit disappointed. It's one of the best known bars in Malasana but no better than the rest really. They have DJ's (as do most of these bars, even if it's just the barman most of the time) and a bit of room for dancing but it's nothing special really.

Maderfaker
This blaxploitation themed bar is actually pretty bare but the posters for classics such as 'Blacula' stare down at you from the wall with films playing on TV screens and a great soundtrack playing over the stereo.

Aroma
Two painstakingly made and delicious mojitos for €7 in an otherwise unremarkable bar. They even hand-grind the ice, bless 'em.

La Realidad
Far and away my favourite bar in Malasana and, in fact, Madrid, Realidad's walls are covered by a huge paint-by-numbers mural that has slowly been being filled in over the last 7 months. Otherwise fitted out as a hella-quirky living room, it does great, if pricey and pretentious, cocktails (is that a rose petal? Yes it is) and €3 doble's served by some of the coolest bar staff you will ever see.

El Perro de la Parte de Atrás del Coche
Roughly translating as 'The Dog That Nods It's Head In The Back Of The Car', this is a little bar-club which I've admittedly only been to once, and that was when I was very drunk, but from what I remember it was a whole lot of fun, playing what I'd call 'alternative cheese' (think The Monkees). Good for a laugh.

Taboo
Moving up the pretention-ometer, Taboo is all silly haircuts, tight jeans and loud electronic music. It's hidden away on Calle Vincente Ferrer, but inside you'll find all sorts kicking off. When I was there, the DJ was pumping a picture of Jesus in the air while a man in speedos, goggles and a swimming cap did some kind of underwater dance next to him.

Sideral
Crap ustairs but a lively little indie bar-club downstairs in the arched cellar. When it's full it's a fun place to go for a warm up drink and get an energy boost.

This is only a small cross-section of the options open to you on a night out in Malasaña, a must-do if you're visiting the city. There's also the big Pacha club next to Tribunal metro, a sprinkling of cheaper old man bars, Chueca just a hop over Calle Fuencarral and usually a load of botellon going on to boot.

Words Of The Day: Botellon - Street drinking
Caña - Small beer
Doble - Bigger beer
Jarra - Even bigger beer

Spring, El Cuatro Torres and La Noche en Blanco

My afternoon classes were cancelled today so I decided to go and see Madrid's four skyscrapers, the cuatro torres, up near Plaza de Castilla. I had an errand to run on the way and plenty of time to kill so I took my bike. The weather's changed dramatically since the clocks went back (or forward, or whatever) last week and its now really hot and quite humid, so by the time I got to my first destination (after a lovely cycle through La Latina and down Calle Huertas), I was drenched in sweat. I'm going to mostly put this down to the temperature, but cycling up the busy Paseo Castellano is enough to make you perspire even on a cold day. The Spanish driving style certainly makes you use your brakes quite strongly on occasion, and roundabouts are taken at speed.

I'd been wanting to go have a look at the four towers for a while now after seeing them from afar all the time, something my girlfriend has just not been able to understand. I suppose it's quite a male thing... Anyway, when I finally got there via the Plaza de Castilla's leaning towers (it's probably the furthest north I've been in the city, apart from going to the airport), I have to admit she was right. They look a lot more impressive from far away and the area they're in is pretty, well, nothingy. It's not even horribly concreted like the area around the Torre Picasso, there's just nothing else there.

But not to worry, I was back on my bike and off back down the Paseo Castellano until I detoured to coast down through Malasaña and down GranVia to Plaza de España, which I've been wanting to do for ages too. From there I went by the Plaza Oriente and looped past the Palace and through to Opera, round Plaza Mayor to Plaza de Puerta de Cerrada with it's murals and sparrows from where I'm writing this now. The joy of cycling round a city! (After I'd written this on my way down the hill to my flat, another cyclist drew level to say "Madrid! Que bueno!" before speeding past). But enough of that for now, a post about cycling in Madrid coming soon.

Song and dance on the Cercanias

On Saturday I went out to Alcala de Heneres with some friends for El Noche en Blanco, some kind of fiesta the reason for which I'm still not quite sure of. They love a fiesta in Spain and any excuse will do really. After a picnic in Retiro in the overcast but warm afternoon and a fun half an hour Cercanias ride where our group had half the carriage singing along, and even dancing at one point, to Beatles songs (the security didn't really know what to make of this once they realised we weren't doing it for money), we arrived in the main square as darkness was falling at about 9pm to find a stage erected with a local flamenco show in full swing. The participants were evidently local enthusiasts rather than professionals, but that's all part of what's great about Spanish fiestas to me, they're very locally focussed and have a nice community feel to them.

Part of our reason for going was that Alcala is a UNESCO heritage site (and Cervantes birthplace) but, to be honest, it just reminded me very strongly of Chester in the UK. The centre of Valencia is much nicer! Still, the streets were full, the night was warm, and it was nice to sit on the street drinking beer and eating tapas. (Note: careful when asking a waiter for "muchos tapas", you might get more than you bargained for!).

With the hot weather and the lighter evenings, Madrid's terrazas have sprung back out, which brings so much more atmosphere to the streets in the evening. Even the little old bar opposite our flat has bought some tables and chairs. A recent exeptional find though, on a recommendation from a friend, is a rooftop terrace bar called Gaudeamus, on top of an old library on Calle Tribulete in Lavapies. A view over the rooftops and the old church-like stonework combined with good lighting and vegetation make it one of the best drinking spots I've found, and the prices aren't too bad either at €2.80 a decent sized caña. Recommended.

Finally, an update on Madrid's parrot situation. I don't know if this happens every year as it gets warmer but there are more and more of the little green fellas to be seen, or rather heard, near the centre of the city these days and they're a common sight, or rather sound, near our apartment. I'm beginning to see why people released them as pets, they have got quite a squawk on them.

Word of the day: Torres - Towers    (Fernando Torres? Ferdinand Towers)

A Day Out (Bullfighting, Prostitutes, Priests and Tiny Sandwiches)

There has been a much-needed run of perfectly clear days in Madrid, with brilliant blue skies and temperatures pushing 17 degrees in the afternoons (according to the bus stops, which aren't very reliable for any type of information in my experience). So when me and my flatmate found ourselves with nothing to do yesterday, we decided to go for a day out in Madrid. But what to do? Boating in Retiro? A bit cold maybe. The cable car into the forest west of the city? My flatmate's not good with heights so that was out. Well, if you search 'day out in Madrid' you mainly get ideas for trips out of the city to Toledo or Segovia and so on, and when I finally found some pages about things to do in Madrid, they mainly recommend walking around, eating and drinking, along with this intriguing but unexplained entry on www.madrid-guide-spain.com:

"Madrid Adventure! Experience the wilder side of the city! Do and see some of the more controvertial (sic) aspects of Madrid. Perhaps one that you will not be taking the kids along on!" Hmm?

We wanted to go somewhere we'd not been before anyway so we thought we'd set off for the bull ring at Ventas, the second biggest in the world don'tcha know, and have a wonder round that area in the east and see what there was to see. After a bizarre encounter with a Brasilian woman at a petrol station which ended with her claiming to be a doctor and grabbing my flatmates crotch (!) we got the Metro. On the way there we saw this brilliant advert (left) which reads 'The man in your life out of your life? Sell it!'

We emerged from the Metro into warm sunshine at the Plaza del Toros, with the surprisingly Arabian style bull ring partly obscured by a circus that someone had decided to plonk in front of it. There's a veritable crowd of statues to be found around the Plaza del Toros of various bullfighters and bulls. It does make you realise quite how much of a tradition it is, matadors are held in some awe here. The idea of bullfighting doesn't exactly fill me with glee but I've been won round a bit to the idea that it's a cultural art form and I feel better about it after finding out that they actually eat the bull afterwards. I think I will go and see one, it feels like something you should see while you're here (and apparently it's only €3 a ticket). The statues didn't quite have the same effect on my flatmate, who commented "Look how gay his shoes are!"

We had a wonder back towards the centre and found nothing of interest (lot of banks), although we did find out that El Corte Ingles (Spanish M&S) has a section of books in English. We ended up in Plaza Colon, with a strange stone monument, the biggest flag I've ever seen and a statue of Cristobal Colon, or Christopher Columbus to you and me (http://spanish.about.com/od/spanishlanguageculture/a/columbus.htm). If you say Christopher Columbus to a Spanish person, they have absolutely no idea who you're on about.

The famous Tio Pepe sign in Sol

With the sun setting and no other ideas, we decided to get a drink outside on the roundabout round the Puerta de Alcala near Retiro park. This is essentially the thing to do on a day out in Madrid, sit on the street and soak it up. I can't wait til spring when its a bit warmer. When I arrived in October the terraces were packed and the atmosphere was great. We decided to stay out and with money still being a bit tight, we settled on the idea of going on a 100 Montaditos crawl (a chain of bars where a beer and tiny sandwich is €2, see previous posts). There were six we could think of in the centre: Gran Via, Calle Mayor, Alonso Martinez, La Latina, Atocha and Puerta de Toledo, and we wanted to do them all so off we set to the one in between Gran Via and Sol which is on a street we know as prostitute street because, despite being a major shopping street right in the centre of town with a police station on it, it's heavily frequented by ladies of the night, early evening and afternoon. You'll see them hanging around outside McDonald's from about 4pm, agressively chewing gum and waving at the police cars that as far as I can tell, turn a blind eye.

Anyway, a beer and a tiny sandwich and we set off for the Alonso Martinez branch via a quick stop at El Tigre in Chueca with its massive plates of tapas, ticked that one off and then on to the Calle Mayor branch. I'd been wanting to go around here with my camera for ages because opposite the 100 Montaditos, down a little side street is the extrodinary 'pope shop' as I like to call it, that sells everything you could possibly want or need as a priest. I really want to know how much the robes cost, they'd make the best fancy dress costume ever! Theres another one just round the corner as well that has near life-size figure of Jesus on the cross with some very severely grazed knees, perfect for the living room. I wonder why they keep the windows un-shuttered and lights on all night? Just in case any bishops happen to be wondering past? Getting a bit tired of tiny sandwiches now, we headed off to the Atocha branch to meet some friends who persuaded us give up our Montadito quest and go with them to a bar on Calle Pez in Malasana before heading to a bar/club in Chueca before nipping home on the last Metro at 1.30am for an early(ish) night.

Make like Cruzcampo man and hit the streets

All in all I'd call that a very sucessful day(/night) out. Conclusion? I think Madrid is a city you've got to make the most of for yourself. There's no Eiffel Tower or Big Ben to see on a day out, the best thing is just to pick an area, wonder the streets and see what there is to see, regularly stopping off for food and drink on the way. You'll see some sights, find random little places, see some wierd stuff, probably meet some dubious characters on the way and have a great time!

Felizes Tres Reyes

...Or Happy Three Kings to you. Today is (another) national holiday here in Spain for Three Kings, which many people, particularly Catholics, take much more seriously than Christmas itself. This is when children recieve their presents, instead of christmas day, delivered by the three wise men that bothered Jesus when he was born (or, 12 days after as it is here - the Bible doesn't actually mention them being there on the night), one from the Orient, one from Europe and one from Africa, who magically fly around the world by camel... sound familiar? All this must be a bit confusing for kids. Are they competing with Santa or what?

Umbrellas out in Plaza de Ciebeles

Anyway, there's a huge parade through every town in Spain on Reyes Eve as I'm gonna call it, and the one in Madrid is pretty huge and broadcast live on TV so we went down and joined the crowds in Plaza de Ciebeles to check it out. It started off with some light drizzle and an odd musical interlude telling the story of the Kings featuring a man playing an upended piano suspended above the stage with projections on it, before the parade started coming down the Paseo Castellano. Its very much a kids event, with loads of toddlers hoisted on there parents shoulders and even up step ladders waiting to catch the sweets thrown from the floats, but it was pretty full of adults too who were clearly loving it (and also trying to catch sweets).

 

Balthazar, all the way from Africa, apparently

It's quite a surreal procession really, giant birds, the smurfs, the Royal Guards on horseback, a pirate ship, mildly terrifying giant fish, flag waving cheerleaders, a gigantic samaurai who looked like he was muttering silently to himself and much more, followed at the end by the Three Kings themselves. Now, one of the Kings, Balthazar, from Africa, is usually black. However, this is Spain, not a country known for its political correctness (see also the national basketball team narrowing their eyes for a photo at the Beijing olympics). Did they have a black person filling this role? Of course not, they had someone blacked up. Oh dear.

Fireworks, as seen from Gran Via

This aside, the event was great fun. It's nice to have a big communal celebration like that at this time of year, and this one brings out the wide eyed kid in everyone. You've got to be pretty sharp to catch any sweets though, or up-end an umbrella as many people did. Some pretty impressive fireworks afterwards too.

Seeing as today was a national holiday, it was high time for a drink afterward, and we headed over to Malasana for a couple at a little cafe whos name I always forget that plays bossa nova non stop. Then to circus themed Malabar on Plaza Dos de Mayo with its very friendly staff before venturing into Chueca to a bar that serves huge plates of tapas (see below) with a decent sized beer for 4 Euros a pop while huge animal heads stare at you from the wall, and then on to a Olivers, an ordinary looking bar with an unexpected cellar club with neon lights stretching from end to end (also see below) and a very hit and miss music policy. All that, and I didn't see one person breaking the smoking ban. In fact, people looked quite happy standing outside.

Needless to say, I'm quite hungover. But hey, what are public holidays for eh?

Hitting the Bars, the Metro and some other stuff...

Finding a good bar in Madrid isn't hard because there aren't any, its more a case of finding them in the sea of other bars in any given area of the city. Admittedly, you'll find it easier in certain areas, Malasana for example definately has more than its fair share, but even there there's a lot of pretty average and downright crap drinking holes on offer too and it takes a fair bit of wondering back streets to find a gem. So with this in mind, and having some experience in these matters after designing and managing a bar in Manchester, I thought I'd start writing bar reviews on here too. (Although maybe this would make a good sister blog - My Madrileno Hangovers?). The problem is, I can't remember what half of them are called so it'll have to be an ongoing project, but heres the first batch.

Imperfecto, off Calle Huertas, Sol
This bright and colourful bar is definately from the Quirky school of bar design. Covered in random bits and bobs, its certainly interesting to look at, and has some interesting seating (although in some cases, for interesting, read uncomfortable. Not too busy in the week but there's usually at least one group of noisy locals in the back to give it a bit of atmosphere.

El Matador, Sol
El Matador is one of those Spanish cavern-like bars where the yellowy-brown colour of the walls matches that of the legs of Jamon hanging behind the bar. El Matador has taken very typical format and given it an edge of cool with a Matador skull and crossbones logo and lifesize Matador manaquin hanging off the wall, which means the tiny bars usually pretty jammed. Not too pricey, plus your canas come complete with sweaty chorizo and cheese tapas. Mmm!

Pandora's Liberia, West La Latina
On the bluff just south of the Cathedral, the potential view from this cafe/bar is somewhat blocked after dark by the trees and feral teenagers in the park opposite but inside its got a dark old-world feel, with a 'library' (well, bookshelf, don't flatter yourself Pandora) of mostly Spanish books at one end. Despite the fairly snooty staff, its a nice place to settle in for an evening... as long as you keep an eye on the tab! Tapas here means a curious but original collection of nuts, jelly tots and slices of melon. Mmm?

I've spent this week mostly catching up with friends and family on Skype - surely an expats best friend - and doing a fair bit of going out, including to watch Spain get thrashed 4 - 0 by Portugal. Interesting to see the reaction of Spaniards to this. In England, it would be a continual stream of shouted abuse, grumbling and opinion, whereas here most people just turned away and pretended it wasn't happening. I suppose when you've just won the World Cup you've got less to prove.


Other interesting/worrying things I've learnt this week:
- Men flashing women (mainly on public transport and in parks), as happened to a friend of mine on her way to work at 8am last week, is so common that they're known as hombres verdes (green men - as in mouldy).
- There is no word for strap in Spanish.
- It is near-impossible to find anywhere with the combination of wifi, a seat, and a plug socket in central Madrid. I've started using the wifimas thing that broadcasts from kiosks around the city. Tip - when signing up for anything on the internet in Spain, United Kingdom is Reino Unido. Took me a while, that one.
- Spanish music videos are almost as bad as Spanish pop music. Almost.
- Saying 'Buenas' is like saying 'Good day', but calling someone 'Buena' is saying they are good enough to eat. Watch your pronunciation.

I've had an idea about doing some kind of street theatre on the Metro. I got the idea after seeing a guy get on, playing guitar for a bit (which happens all the time), only for his friend, who no-one had noticed to burst out rapping halfway through and go up and down the carriage making everyone laugh (I had no idea what he was saying). Got me thinking about various performance stuff you could do -  not for money but just for an entertaining afternoon, and to make a few people days. So far I've only had a couple of ideas but got a few people making interested noises about it.

Things I (Dis)Like About Madrid 1

I want to build the ultimate pro and con list about Madrid compared with England, partly as a guide and partly just so I can have a bit of a moan, so I'll add things as and when they occur to me and compile them all at the end of the year, but heres a starter

Like: that people spend a good part of their lives standing or sitting on the street
Dislike: that they simply will not get out of your way when your trying to get past
Like: chocolate con churros
Dislike: that half-decent coffee is exceedingly hard to come by

We went out for Halloween last night, with our hitchiking guests (on a Madrid timescale: leaving the house at 1am) and wondered up to Sol dressed as burgulars, doing comically sneaky walks and hiding behind lamposts when people walked past. Fancy dress was thoroughly on show, ranging from the extremely detailed to the downright bizarre! After a few drinks at a mainly English bar, we ventured into a tile-fronted bar pumping music out that turned out to be the most Spanish place I've been in yet, with full on Flamenco music, complete with clapping and stamping on the dancefloor and pictures of bullfighters covering the walls. Great fun when you get into it!

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow. I've been wandering round various places for the past couple of days, each one better than the last! Just when you think you've seen the main bits or are getting the feel for the place, you go to another neighbourhood and its completely different. The main bit of the city isn't very big, and large parts of it are pedestrianised (or the cars have simply given up) so you can stroll, largely uninterupted, across it in about 20 minutes. I don't have time to go into all of the places I've explored now so I'll save neat and beautiful Huertas, the winding streets of La Latina, the grand Palace Real, its guards with very odd hats and listening to the saxophone drift over the lake with the lions in La Retiro for later. 

Relaxing at Retiro

I think I've fallen in love with Malasaña, the bohemian mishmash of streets around the Plaza Dos De Mayo, north of Gran Via. The narrow streets are full of bars, cafes, clothes shops, history, grafitti and, wierdly, small dogs - old people with small dogs, young people with small dogs, punks with small dogs, small dogs on their own... they're bloody everywhere! But I digress. Malasaña, named after a seamstress executed by the French after being found with a pair of scissors during an uprising, is definitely somewhere I'd want to live. The bars are full, the streets are busy, the atmosphere's great and the people are a diverse bunch. This is going to sound very sad but I spent last night doing a sort of grammar bar crawl around there, nipping from bar to bar, whipping out my grammar books in each one and soaking up the atmosphere. It's great to <parents look away now> be able to smoke in bars again! Pretty much everyone seems to smoke, adding to the bohemian atmosphere of Malasaña in particular, and Madrid in general. There's a real street culture here, with bars and restaurants busy at all times of the day. Madrid seems to some extent to have resisted some of the uniformity of globalisation as well. There's the odd Starbucks and McDonalds here and there but far, far more independent little coffee shops, tapas bars and eateries.

A healthy sense of humour in evidence in Malasaña

I'm still getting used to the pace of life here – I've noticed that there's a distinct Madrid gait that makes people appear to be walking at normal speed when they are actually walking very slowly. As someone who walks quite quickly, this has led to me either nearly walking into people or walking in slow motion behind them looking a bit foolish! Also, although its officially on Central European Time, Madrid actually operates at about GMT+4. Everything is later: opening times, lunch, dinner, drinks, clubs, closing.

I got myself a Spanish phone yesterday - quite a linguistic test for me and the man in the Orange shop. I'd managed to muster “Yo tengo un telephone Ingles, pero yo quiero usar en España”, from my pocket dictionary, which turned out to be a completely useless phrase once we'd figured out the phone was sim-blocked. Anyway, we bundled through with the help of a translation website and I learnt a bit of Spanish along the way. I can just about manage “Una cervesa, por favor” without eliciting a “Huh?” from the barman now. I met up with some fellow Ingles earlier, on a trip to the notary to get my NIE number (national insurance number) who are doing the same training I'm starting on Monday and was relieved to find none of them spoke Spanish either! I'm a bit worried that I might just end up speaking English the whole time if I'm not careful though so I'm going to set myself the challenge right here, right now, of writing the last entry of this blog before I leave entirely in Spanish. (A double-edged challenge – I have to keep writing this til I leave as well).

Having spent two days here, it feels like such a fantastically different, lively and vibrant place I've pretty much decided that I'm going to stay here for the best part of a year whether I get this job or not!